What do you do when you are four or five years old and in need of attention? Screaming can be effective. Vivid memories of my early childhood are not numerous. One still remains in my mind’s eye pretty clearly though:
I am standing in the driveway near the garage, repeatedly screaming an expletive-the most offensive of all swear words-the “f” word. Starved for attention, I was getting it the only way I knew.
What happened just before and right after that, I couldn’t tell you. Those parts of the memory didn’t stick.
My siblings dubbed me “the screamer” because of such escapades. Apparently, I was prone to temper tantrums and was not known for a quiet approach to them.
The screaming turned inward when I realized that maybe the outward variety was drawing too much of the wrong kind of notice. The inward variety quieted “the screamer,” but my inner voice only turned on me more. Enter alcohol.